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A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a
busy boulevard.
Suddenly, the light tu rned yellow,
just in front of him. He did the right thing,
stopping at the crosswalk, even
though he could have
beaten the red light by accelerating through the
intersection. The tailgating woman was furious
and honked her horn,
screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to
get through the intersection, dropping her
cell phone
and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her pulled up behind
your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed
the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper
sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.
Naturally.....I assumed you had stolen the car.'
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over
who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would
say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'"
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be
Jesus!"
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After the church service, a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."
"Well,
thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?"
"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had.."
A wife
invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the
blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The
daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I
invite all these people to dinner?"
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now,
Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No
sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE
: No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER:
Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:
A teacher
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